Plugged In or Tuned Out?

Does improved technology “plug us in” to one another, or tune us out from life?

Recently, I was part of a group of parents and teens who shared a table at a Steak and Shake restaurant. We had just sent their older siblings off to Germany for a three-week “young ambassador” trip. As we were seated, one of the adults suggested that the kids, who we are hoping will be the “next generation” to represent our conference overseas, might like to sit together at one end of the table so they could "bond". It's not like the kids don't know each other-- the two boys have been at church camp together for years and the girl has known one of the boys since she was about four years old.  

The parents have shared camp experiences, conference activities and long friendships, too. We chattered almost non-stop, pausing only to order our food and take periodic bites of it when it arrived. We talked about the wonderful opportunity our older children were embarking upon. We shared memories about the German youth who had stayed with us the previous summer, and would be soon reunited with the American partners. Occasionally we received an update from the travelers: “We're on the plane. We're about to leave. Can my girlfriend pick me up at the airport when we get home?” Those messages were shared with everyone at the table.

Our younger teens sat at the other end of the table, texting, checking emails and saying few words to each other at all!  So much for bonding!

It reminded me of a band trip to New York City that I chaperoned two year's ago. It was somewhat disconcerting to discover just how “plugged in” the others on the trip were to their electronic devices. Not just the kids, but also the adults, all seemed to have cell phones, laptops, portable music devices... They spent their time sending messages, watching videos, talking to friends on the other bus, or doing work. I suppose if the trip were taken today, they might also be reading books on their Kindles!

This was fine for the long bus ride to New York City, but it continued even on the short tours! At one point I even noticed my own daughter, who did not have a cell phone at that time, passing another student's phone back and forth across the bus aisle-- texting instead of talking! It was almost tragic when we dined at a special restaurant, designed to look like we were on Mars. The other adult and I looked at each other from either end of the table, helpless as we could not get them to stop texting friends at other tables long enough to talk to each other! They were so plugged into technology that they missed the wonders around them!

There were a few who noticed the daffodils blooming in Central Park, and others who delighted in the rich baritone voice of a homeless man who sang for donations outside of the Guggenheim Museum. But even those soon returned to cell phones for communication. I cannot help but think there were missed opportunities because of it.

As we sat in the airport, waiting the return of our young people, we again gathered the teens at one table and the adults around another. We shared what had happened in our lives in the past three weeks, as our children were overseas. We laughed at pictures that had been shared on Facebook and as cellphone messages began to come in, those were shared, too: “We've left Atlanta. They say we are 10 minutes out. We've landed. Is my girlfriend there yet?”

The “next generation” finally began to talk, bond a little, and, at the very least, passed their iPods back and forth to share music or websites that were of interest to the others. Tuned out? A little less than before. Hopefully plugged in to new friendships and opportunities yet to come.